TOP 10 THINGS ABOUT THE NHL THAT DRIVE ME NUCKING FUTS!!!

Seems like everybody and their blog have one of these Top 10's lists, so being the original plagiarist I am, I might as well give it a whirl. Here is the scab that scratches the itch. What were they thinking?

10 - Lose that damn delay of game penalty for tossing the puck into the crowd. I know the league has the flow of the game in mind by instituting it, but what kills the flow more than stopping not just the play, but the actual game itself, to call a penalty. More often than not it has been affecting the game's outcome. At least they could treat it like they do a deliberate icing, and not allow the changing of lines before the faceoff. They could start by making the glass the same height throughout the league, that would make sense. Having uneven dimensions is akin to only calling it in the Western conference. Hey, I could go for that!

9 - The instigator rule. I'm with Don Cherry on this one. Remove it and there's more fights. Is that a problem?

8 - Bye bye 4th official. Why exactly do we need 4 zebras for? By reducing them back to three it decreases the odds of one of them being hit by a puck by 25%. They want to increase the game's flow, this is one way. Maybe fitting Kerry Fraser with a helmet is a step in the right direction, his coif will no longer nullify icings on it's own. If fighting is down, the red line has been eliminated, and all goals are reviewed, the need for two refs and two linesman is obsolete.

7 - Bring the draft age back to 20 as in pre 1974 days. Prospects will mature and the draft won't be the crapshoot it is now once the first round is complete. GM's and hockey fans alike would have a much better idea of the calibre of player they are getting. Scouting will be a simpler science and junior hockey will thrive again due to increased familiarity with the players. It's not like three dozen 18 year olds make the jump to the NHL each year. Imagine the excitement in a junior league that gets a Crosby-like player for four years instead of two, not to mention the revenue increase. With stronger supply leagues comes more developed prospects. A win - win deal in my eyes.

6 - Cut down on the forcing of divisional rivalries and increase the cross conference games. Raise your hand all those dying for eight games versus the Florida Panthers! A Canucks fan, as it stands, gets one chance every three years to see a player such as Alexander Ovechkin play in their building. That simply doesn't cut the ketchup. The price of oil and gas are the true culprits here, though Gary Bettman remains in denial about that and every other issue facing him.

5 - Bob Cole and Harry Neale. Out to pasture! Enough said.

4 - Eliminate games on back to back nights. Not only is this a road trip killer, teams records on the second night are usually brutal. It's akin to mailing in the two points. Ever wonder why players take nights off - some can't help it, it's a grueling way to schedule such a physical game. Doing this makes big time sense and would enable other smart moves. Read on! Did I mention it would cut down on injuries?

3 - No point for OT or Shootout losses. Rewarding a team for losing is insane any way it's looked at. It artificially inflates the standings and turns third period play into boring formalities. Dallas and the NY Rangers looked good till the playoffs hit. Wonder why? Look no further than their OT records. That luxury left them come April.

2 - Lose the freaking shootout completely and forever. Send it the way of the glowing Fox puck. It is an absolutely amaturish way to settle the score. Imagine a football game ending in a field goal kicking derby! The Masters with a round of mini putt? Trying to hit Barry Bonds in the noggin with a wild pitch? A team game should be decided as a team. Not with an extra point going to the side whose individual skill is superior in that nights context. Ridiculous! Settle it with a 10 minute 4 on 4 - way more exciting! If still tied, that's it - you get one point. Trashing games on consecutive nights enables the extra OT. no scheduled flights out of town three hours after a game.

1 - Better enforcement of protection rules for goaltenders. If I'm Sean Avery on a breakaway against Roberto Luongo, what's going through my mind? Increased penalty time, fines and discipline is in order for extreme cases of goalie abuse. Goalies are the bread and butter of many a team and are the easiest to injure. The league did their best to alter every rule to expose them, now is the time to balance the scales.

There you have it. Can I run for commisioner now?