Thursday, December 07, 2006

David Aebischer - Goalie for Rent, Trade, Waiverline Pickup, or Sold for a Bucket of Pucks.

I'll rarely be more brunt or beligerent - David Aebischer must go!

This Swiss stiff full of holes should be had for a song. Even a Celine Dion song!

He should be given away, put on a bus, a train, a plane, and a rocket launcher.

This goalie's chances of success are worse than a eunuch's odd's at a strip club.

Give him the boot. The heave-ho. A no-recall stint in a mental institution.

He's shell-shocked without ever having been to war.

Aebischer is a guaranteed loss for the Canadiens - point blank!

I watch him play and I get shivers, nervous twitches, cold sweats, and unparalleled paranoia.

He has born loser written all over him.

How do I know all this?

Well, I grew up a goalie, confident and cocksure of my abilities. I learnt early on how to face opponants. I learnt the worth of positioning and poise. I studied risk versus odds in regard to shooters. I studied subjects most likely to beat me. I have lived in "The Zone", and been aware when I'm off.

Goaltending is all about confidence.

David Aebischer's game is a mess. He tosses himself about like a baby seal on a greased surface. He's on his knees when his defenseman have the puck anywhere near. He throws himself at shooters instead of angling himself to become wide to the puck. He's off-balance and out of position after each save. He is rarely in the middle of his crease, upright, and centered in his net. Aebischer cannot butterfly and seal off the lower portion of the net - ever.

When he makes a save, it is rare that the puck lands in front of him to be safely smothered. He has even more trouble directing rebounds into corners because of this non-style.

This kinetic, frazzled style of goaltending gives defenseman fits. Where he should be inspiring composure, he is causing utter chaos.

Aebischer looks as if he is facing bullets being deflected in front of him.

In last nights game versus New Jersey, I saw him reach way too far for a shot destined wide and high to the gloveside. He didn't spread or split in the attempt - he lunged at it. He landed forward, almost face down, his glove being the first thing to touch the ice.

In one sequence, as defenseman passed the puck side to side behind the net, Aebischer dropped to his knees three times without a Devils forward being remotely close. Twice he cuddled the goalposts nervously looking behind the goal line at his D.

Just what the hell was he so worried about? Did he think his own D was going to fire at him?

On Jersey's game winner with 7 seconds left, all he needed to do was let a puck hit him. With the faceoff to his right, he was a step to the left from the middle of his net. The way he attempted to make the save, you'd think the edges were shaved off his skates! As the puck was drawn from the faceoff to the blueline, then passed to the middle of the ice, Aebischer came slidding across the crease on his knees, missing the shot low to his stick side.

You should have seen the expression on coach Guy Carbonneau's face - sheer disbelief!

Aebischer has now lost six games in a row. I doubt he'll remain in a Montreal uniform long enough to win another.

Last night, a tight Canadiens defense gave him his best chance for a win. As they maintained a slim 1-0 lead for three periods, the usually shot generous Habs D limited New Jersey to below 20 shots. They gave up little in the manner of good scoring chances.

Aebischer undid their solid work turning what ought to have been routine saves into prime scoring chances. He did it on his praying knees, laying on the ice, flat on his back, beyond his crease, and almost behind his net.
He's making Andre "Red Light" Racicot look like Patrick Roy.

The time to unload Aebischer is yesterday!


Wardo said...

Mr. Gainey is waiting for Abby to string together a few wins and boost his trade value. With a salary of 1.9 million, few teams have room for him now, even if they want him.

But the trade deadline is another story. By then, Mr. Gainey will know in his heart if Huet can handle the job, and better, other teams will know if their own goaltending is suspect. Aebischer's salary for the year would be almost completely paid, and assuming he flops his seal-like body in front of enough pucks to piece together some wins, then Mr. Gainey can hold a rival GM over a nearly barrel long enough to righteously cornhole him for a pick or prospect.

Or hell, why stop there. Mr. Gainey will get both, what am I saying - he'll take what he needs, and then order some St. Hubert's to celebrate.

Anonymous said...

your a fucken cock scuker and u know nothing about hockey..aebischer plays a unique butterfly style and got to play behind the best goalie in history..take a look at his career numbers ...100 wins 66 losses,for a colroado team that worried abotu offense and left it up to him back there to do everything he has a which speaks for itself on how good he is.sorry buddy but your plain fucken dum..aebischer played the game of the year against toronto to..stoning them 50 times wut was his team doing in front of him..obviusy huet is playing with the top nhl goalies right now seasonw as young...abby needs a bunch of games in a row ..but he didnt get that..and if he woulda he would have eben playing the majority..abby beat dallas singlehandley in the 04 playoffs he was senstaional i watched every minute..and take a look at his stats...and u have goalies like huet last year who couldnt get montrreal a first round win..when he had better defense the abby in colorado..the point is u cant dis abescher..hes down on every shot caus thats how he plays his the same when i play...and every goalie gets beat by the odd soft goal..look at a golaie like raycroft..if abby played in toronto that team would be doing well over .500....abesicher is the best deal in the nhl caus hes not greedy..ay team besdies obviusly a team with brodeuer or kipper could use him as number 1 and have a great chance at the cup.abby is underrated..your article thing doesnt even make since dude...terrible..i dont kow who dropped u on ur head but thats fucked up..the worst trade in history was abescher for theodore.but montreal was smart they have the best goalie tandem..obviusly making a trade possilbe for like a forwards- defenman..caus u dont need two great goalies..when abbeseiechers on top of his game hes as good as anyone..did u see a game last year when he played detroit prolly did he stopped like 45..and he mad the save of the year..with his blocker..diving and made 2 b4 really couldnt of missed one else woulda stopped that..anyway grow the fuck up stupid fuck

and u think if ur shit mad ehalf sense with all the good goalies in the nhl today abby wouldnt have been around/wouldnt be around..if your shit was half true..theres also 50 goalies who pass what u say about abby yet abby is in the top.he never gives up on a play and is outstanding most games..even when he actualy got pulled he stoped 30-34 shots...and u have goalies like joseph letting in 5 on 17 and stayin in the net..the onyl reaosn they pull is because huet is ready abby is sore and frustereated and his team is playing like ass in front of him..and if abby played more he would only prove that hes near the top